Don't forget to do the math

January 10, 2010

"I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. It's been about two months since I've worked out. And I just don't have the time. Which odd. Because I have the time to go out to dinner. And uh..and watch tv. And get a bone density test. And uh.. try to figure out what my phone number spells in words."   - Ellen DeGeneres
 Before the wedding, I worked really hard at the whole eating-right (mostly) thing and the going to the gym (mostly) thing, and I lost ten pounds.  Well, over the past year (after the wedding) I have steadily gained back every single one of those ten pounds, plus one or two extra.  Living with boys sucks at dinnertime, because your 6 oz grilled chicken with salad and ice water does not look nearly as appealing when set next to a plateful of garlic mashed potatoes topped with bacon and cheese and sour cream, a juicy marinated steak smothered in onions and mushrooms, and a roll of warm, crusty white bread with butter, all served with a tall, frosty, full-calorie soda or beer.  And I don't even like steak.

I won't bore you with the details, but just before thanksgiving I decided I needed to kick my butt into gear and go to the gym and start eating more fruits and veggies and a bit less pizza and cookies.  I got myself a trainer and have been fairly successful with my nutritional program, with only a few minor setbacks at Christmastime.  (Oh Fudge and Cookies and Taco Pizza, how I love you so). 

Since I sometimes find myself in one of those social situations where drinking beer is both appropriate and expected, and since I do occasionally enjoy a cold beer, I took the plunge and bought myself a 6-pack of MGD 64.  I figured, at 64 calories to Bud Light's 110, I could drink 3 MGD64's for less than the caloric price of 2 BL.  What a deal, right?  My first clue should have been right there in the supermarket display case.  The MGD64 was sitting in the section right next to the non-alcoholic beers.  Hmmm....

But I carried on and decided that if I squirted a little lime juice in it then I could totally pretend it tasted just like a Corona and lime.  Up until I actually compared it with a real Corona and lime, that is.

So of course MGD comes out with this 64-calorie beer, and Budweiser, in the interest of getting their share of the sorority-girl and middle-aged women's beer market, (because the market for early and mid-twenties non-sorority girls will never completely be wrested from the hands of jagermeister) does them one better and comes out with a 55 calorie beer.

Personally, I wasn't really that interested in the 10 extra calories.  I mean, frankly, if you're drinking beer and you're that concerned with ten measly little calories, you probably are better served not drinking beer at all.  But on a whim one evening during the Christmas break, I grabbed a 6-pack.  Everyone else was drinking Bud Light, and I didn't really feel like getting hassled for drinking something in the Miller family.

It was then I made my sad discovery.

Bud Light has 110 calories, and 4.2% alcohol by volume (ABV)
Bud 55 has 55 calories (duh), and 2.4% ABV.

Now the fact that it is stocked right next to the non-alcoholic beers is starting to make sense.  Boo Hiss, Budweiser for fooling us with your little games! (And for the record, MGD64 functions on the same principle... as one enterprising critic put it, "MGD 64 is about 2/3 the calories, and about 2/3 the ABV, and about 2/3 the taste."

*Sigh* it was fun while it lasted, I guess.