I Want Candy

Let’s face it, Chris and I don’t always communicate on the same wavelength. Chris thinks in very straightforward, black-and-white lines. I think in circles and tangents and lots of color and -- ooo look,a butterfly.



But one thing that Chris is good at is interpretation. He knows that “it’s nothing” means “I’m upset about something that you did” and that “I maybe cleaned the catlitter box” means “I thought about cleaning the catlitter box but then a good show came on TV and I got distracted.”

So, when Chris asked me last year what I wanted for my birthday, and I said “nothing” he knew this meant he still had to get me something.  He's no dummy.

When I said I didn’t want anything for my birthday, it didn’t mean that I literally wanted nothing. It just meant that I didn’t need a huge fancy gift, and that there (honestly) wasn’t one thing in particular that I wanted. In other words, some flowers and nice cake would be fine.

He complained that "I know if I don't get you something you'll be upset, so why can't you just name one thing that you want so I don't have to guess what to get you?"

I was reminded of this conversation during Ryan Seacrest's radio show the other morning.  Some lady called into Ryan Seacrest asking for advice. (I have yet to figure out why people call RS asking for relationship advice, but whatever.)  Here’s the basics of how the conversation went:

LADY: I have a problem.
RS: Okay, what is it?
LADY: Well, my boyfriend asked me what I wanted for Valentine’s Day, and I told him that he didn’t need to get me anything.
RS: So what’s the problem?
LADY: I’m worried that he’s not going to get me anything.

Yes, this lady told her boyfriend she didn’t want anything for Valentine’s day, and then got worried that he would actually listen to her and she’d get nothing on V-day.

Thank goodness Chris knows better. If you’re reading this, honey, I promise you don’t have to get me anything for Valentine’s day. Really. *snort*