Say What?!

Every so often, I overhear people say things that are unintentionally funny. Here's a collection of great quotes from the last few months:

“Aren’t they looking for you at the school?”
-A customer, speaking to her young-looking waiter at the Olive Garden

“You need to get rid of that Twilight Princess, yo. You’re playing ‘T’ for ‘Teen’ man.”
-Relationship advice from one guy to another at the Home Depot

“I wanted to get off on the right foot… I just had to decide which foot!”
-A new acquaintance, on what type of first impression he wanted to make at a party

"You can open up that can of worms and you can’t put it back in the box.”
-On why it wouldn’t be a good idea to broach a certain topic, from a co-worker who obviously isn’t too familiar with his parables

“I consider myself a fairly smart people...”
-One of my friends, who shall remain nameless because I want us to stay friends

“I don’t want my company to send me to Canada, because they shouldn’t need me to travel overseas.”
-Another one of my friends. Also nameless

“The moon is closer than Florida because you can see the moon, and you can’t see Florida.”
-Yes, someone actually said this. And no, it was not one of my friends (which is a good thing because that kind of stupidity on a regular basis would make my brain hurt).

“This thing changes like my underwear!”
-One of my bosses, frustrated by the pace and timing of a project.


(As a side note, I should mention that my friends really are smart people. Even smart people say dumb things sometimes.)